A survival guide for college grads
It's graduation season. Earlier this month, my only child walked across a stage in a black cap and gown to receive his diploma from the University of Notre Dame. It was a major milestone for my son -- and an emotional moment for our whole family. As the late Erma Bombeck observed, college graduation is hard on moms and dads: "They go to the ceremony as parents and come home as contemporaries. After 22 years of child-raising, they are unemployed."
At the end of July, after spending his last summer back home with Mom and Dad, my son will pack the car for his big move to Chicago, where he’ll begin a new job and a new life without us. So, what last bit of maternal advice can I offer a young man who’ll be terribly missed, but is ready to fly from the family nest? What other lessons should I impart or review before he leaves? Like most moms, I’ve spent years drilling my son on the importance of working hard, keeping his integrity, writing thank-you notes .... But I know I’ve overlooked some things. With that in mind, here’s a peek at the survival tips I’ll be packing in his suitcase before he pulls out of the driveway and heads for the highway to real adulthood:
*Relationships, like cars, need regular upkeep. Maintain the good friendships you’ve made as surely as you forge new ones. Treat your old friends with as much respect as you'd treat business clients you want to impress.
*Learn from your adversaries. The people who push our buttons tend to reflect qualities we dislike in ourselves.
*It’s never all about you. Encourage others to talk about themselves. You’ll make a great first impression and learn something new.
*If you settle for less, that’s exactly what you’ll get.
*Don’t be too proud to ask for help when you need it.
*The notion that everyone is having a better time somewhere else is one of the world’s dumbest illusions. Refuse to believe it.
*Losing is a great character builder. If your best effort misses the mark, ask yourself what you can learn from the loss.
*Be a community builder wherever you go. If we can’t make peace with our neighbors, there’s no hope for the rest of the world.
*It can be lonely at the top. Be careful not to alienate loved ones while achieving your goals.
*Be thoughtful. Good manners were designed to make others feel comfortable.
*Handle money with respect. Never let it run your life, overshadow your career, or spoil your personal relationships.
*Strive for decency and compassion, and accept nothing less from everyone you hang out with.
*Get enough sleep; take care of your body. Pay attention to what you eat, where it came from, and why you’re eating it.
*Make good on your word. Show up on time. If you promised to bring the salad or move furniture, follow through. Return what you borrow.
*Keep your faith, but learn about the great religions of the world. Self-righteousness is a huge turn-off.
*Stay in shape; enjoy a recreational sport. Likewise, spend time outdoors. A walk in the woods is the best antidepressant.
*Spend time alone. Creative ideas and solutions are sparked in solitude.
*Never leave your underwear on the floor. As every good room mate will tell you, neatness is essential in cramped spaces.
*Don’t wait for holidays to tell people how much you appreciate them.
*Always take the high road. Admit your blunders and apologize if you’ve hurt someone.
*Find your inner compass and stop seeking approval from others. Be too busy to wonder what other people think of you.
*Don’t limit your shopping to chain stores. Support local businesses and discover the heart and soul of every new location you visit.
*Travel is the best way to learn about the world, but stay on the lookout for a place to set down roots.
*Savor your memories but don’t live in the past. Anyone who insists their high school or college years were “the best” is stuck in a rut. Life gets richer and juicier as you move on. Enjoy every minute.
*Never forget how much you are loved. Phone home when you need a reminder.
Cindy La Ferle also blogs at Cindy's Home Office: www.laferle.com
