Letting Go - One Mall at a Time

My daughter was particularly excited when I picked her up from school on Wednesday... not least of all because her summer was finally going to start.

"My friends are all going shopping when school gets out on Friday. Can I go too?"

She gave me all the pertinent details: the names of the friends, the parent who would be driving them over to the mall, the parent who would be picking them up and the added information that the mom who is usually the toughest had already given her approval.

She's 13 now; definitely old enough to go to a local shopping center without me hanging around. I didn't see anything wrong with the plan --  in theory. Um, what was the name of that mall again?

"The Americana."

I'd never heard of it.

"I don't know, honey. I've never been there and I don't know how safe it is."

I admit it. I'm protective of my daughter. I only just got to the point where I allow her to go into a public restroom by herself, and I'm almost comfortable with that. My husband is even worse. While I've concluded that she's not likely to be kidnapped on her way to the ladies' room, I have to continuously assure her dad that it's OK... and if he thinks she's taking too long, he makes me go in and check on her.

Imagine how he reacted to the idea of this mall trip... especially at an unfamiliar shopping center 20 miles from home.

I blame the recession. In a normal economy, I'd be all over a new luxury mall in the area. This time, I decided to rely on the assurances of my friends that they would be safe. I assuaged my husband's fears by suggesting that we go ourselves and try out one of the nice-looking restaurants in the development. That way, we'd be close by... just in case.

In fact, the only danger this shopping trip posed was the likelihood that the girls would get bored, as the prices of most of the merchandise in most of the stores are way out of their reach.

I approved the shopping trip with a couple of conditions: (1) All the girls stay together and (2) they remain at the Americana -- no crossing the street to the ginormous Galleria shopping center.

"BUT MOM! One of the reasons we picked the Americana was so we could shop at both places. Everyone's going to go but me, and then I'd be alone."

"Then I guess you can't go," I said.

In the end, we compromised. I volunteered us to drive everyone home. So the girls were dropped off at 4:00 and had a couple of hours alone at the Americana. My husband and I showed up at 6:00 and crossed the street with them to the other mall, where they shopped some more. Our dinner was an un-special meal in the food court -- but at least, it was cheap. We only embarrassed our daughter a tiny bit -- and her friends didn't seem to mind us at all.

Best of all, we got to listen to their backseat conversation on their way home, which was mostly about the end of the school year... and the texts they were sending back and forth with boys from their classes. Flirting sure has changed since I was in middle school.

Suddenly, a girls' trip to the mall seems like peanuts. We have bigger hurdles to jump over the next few years.

Original post for 50-Something Moms Blog and Los Angeles Moms Blog by Donna Schwartz Mills... who also chronicles the joys of living with a teenager at her personal blog, SoCal Mom.