Shredding the Report Cards

Now that I've conquered my fear of tossing old photographs I'm onto another purge -- outdated files. I recycled all the instruction manuals for appliances and electronics that we no longer own. Ditto any other paperwork that was outdated or contained information that could be found on-line. I even recycled the old folders by turning them inside out and re-labeling them. I was on a de-cluttering roll...until I found my daughter's school file.

She graduated from college with honors in May and although reading through her old report cards and standardized test scores took me on a trip down memory lane I wondered if they were really worth keeping.

I glanced through the many years of comments and grades. The A's, the B's, the "exceeds requirements, the "needs improvements." The standardized test scores with the little black bars that went to the right and left of average. The diagnosis of learning disorders. The IEPs. I spread out all the paperwork and looked at all the labels and information that was supposed to predict her future failures and successes and realized that each and every piece of paper was obsolete.

Never again would anyone want to know what grade she received in third grade science or her SAT math score. All the subjective marks that were made in an attempt to decide her future were moot points.

The student who didn't get all A's and B's graduated from college on-time and with honors. The student who struggled in reading and spelling but demanded to work through her disability landed a job in Public Relations where she writes for a living.

I looked down at the pile of papers and had a momentary pang of regret for all the angst and worry wasted about grades along the way. I thought of my younger friends and their children who are growing up in a much more score conscious and competitive environment and wished more than anything that I could somehow impart this bit of motherly wisdom upon them...

Enjoy your children and their school years. Celebrate their excitement for learning new things. Encourage them to excel but don't get twisted about labels and scores because in the end it's about your child's desire, their drive, their passion and a little bit of luck that sends them on their path. When you get to be my age those report cards that you lived and died by will, like mine, end up in the shredder.

This is an original 50-Something Mom post. Lollie also blogs for Philly Moms. (Please note: No paperwork was harmed in this process without explicit consent by her daughter who was more than happy to leave her school days and any concrete evidence of failed spelling tests or not coloring within the lines behind). She still plays well with others.