what every kid should know

The school year is starting;  almost 2 million kids are heading off to college for the first time----so there's a predictable rash of articles on the internet.  How to let go and say goodbye.    9 tips for sending off a college freshman.   And the one I saw in the morning paper:  What every kid should know before they leave home.

I should know better.  But I read it anyway.  

It starts off okay—the first example is changing the toilet paper roll.  Not a bad idea— there are grown men who haven’t yet learned this skill. 

But it goes downhill from there—–with a long list of stuff parents should teach  before the kids leave home:  how to iron a shirt, clean a toilet, balance a checkbook.    Nothing personal against this writer; my gripes are not just with this list but also with all those books on What Your 4th grader or 6th grader or Teenager Should Know.  

For one thing, I take issue with the deadlines.   Like there’s a particular age when kids should have mastered certain skills.   Your kid can’t set the table by age 5?   Definitely not Harvard material.   

The list of chores and the right ages to learn them of course comes from consulting with experts….one of which turns out to be the Duggars—also in the news for expecting their 19th child.   If you ask me,  what should be at the top of their list to teach their kids—birth control. 

Plus the Duggars don’t even specify whether the toilet paper should  come from the top or the bottom.  FAIL.

Seriously.    Although I’m not, the article is.  And besides the fact that all these lists are ridiculously arbitrary,  maybe another reason I don’t like reading this stuff is because for me, it’s too late.

Of course,  I didn’t know it was too late until it was too late.

First came the day my 25 year old daughter called and told me I failed as a parent ---because I never taught her how to pack a suitcase.  (By the way....  NOT on the list so  I'm off the hook).    Then there was the day she felt humiliated when asked by her mother-in-law  to make a pie crust.   Pie crust isn't on the list either, but it's on Alli's list of things I missed.   Along with a lot more.  

I failed my son, too.  A couple years ago, the night before he first went away to college,  he came to me with a serious look.  I automatically geared up for a parental talk on separation and responsibility and  living on his own---till I found out what he really wanted : before leaving home, he thought he should know how to sew on a button.

Yeah, that one IS on the list.  I was supposed to teach Daniel how to use a needle and thread by age 7.   Whoops--- more than 10 years overdue.  What could I have been doing all those years? 

I did feel better about one thing: both of my kids can change a roll of toilet paper.  

They're also capable , resourceful and responsible young adults----and I'm reasonably sure they can do most of the stuff mentioned in the paper.    The big mystery is how they learned---because there are at least 5 tasks on that list I have no idea how to do myself.

There's still a chance Darryle can learn to do everything on the list; meanwhile she can be found at I never signed up for this and Cluttercast. This is an original 50-something Moms Blog post.