The Deal with School Selection

When I was a kid, going to school was easy. You lived in a neighborhood and you went to a school you could walk to, and parents could be reasonably sure that their kids were learning what they needed to know in a safe, secure place.

That gives you an idea of how old I am. Those days are long gone. Safety and security are no longer a given, and neither is the idea that your kid is going to be in the right learning environment.

But hey - at least now, we have choices. All the kids in all the schools are tested and scores are published. If your neighborhood school isn't up to par, you have the option of going elsewhere. You can pick a magnet school, a charter school, a "school for advanced studies" - and that's just within the public system! You can also go private, or home school your kids yourself.

You would think that having all those options would put my mind at ease -- but instead, it just adds new levels of pressure. It's like "Let's Make a Deal" - who's to say that the prize behind door #1 isn't better than what you got behind door #2?

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I agonized over my search for a daycare provider who could take over for me when my maternity leave ended. I searched and interviewed and combed the area for someone I could trust with my precious baby.

I ended up placing her with the very first person I had met, who was wonderful. I didn't want that situation to end.

But babies grow into toddlers and eventually, they're expected to go to preschool. Once again, I agonized over where to go. By this time, I was listening to other parents, who would tell me how different preschools fed into different private schools -- and why I should care. Once again, she got placed with the first school we'd evaluated and once again, it was perfect.

Two years later, it was time to choose a kindergarten and selecting a school was a nerve-racking process that had me wondering if the decision I'd made was going to ruin her young life. After her elementary school experience turned out to be wonderful, I realized that each time we went through this process, all my worries had been silly. Whether it was good luck or good instinct, each situation has been exactly the right one for my girl. 

I vowed that when she started middle school, I wouldn't sweat the process.

I sweated... a lot.

And in the end -- I should not have broken my vow. Middle school has been a great experience. She's now 13 years old, and thriving in the eighth grade...

...which means it's time to figure out what we're going to do about high school.

I figured this one would be easy. Our "home school" (the one we are supposed to attend based on where our home is located) is kind of on the scary side - but there's an excellent charter high school located three miles from home (in the other direction). The school is well-regarded and because it's separated from the district, it isn't facing the same kind of budget issues as other ones in Los Angeles. Most people who know us have just assumed that she'll be going there.

Unfortunately, my teenage daughter has another assumption. She doesn't share our view of the charter high school. She says that even though she knows a lot of kids who live in the area, none of her friends will be going there. Instead, she wants to enroll at a magnet school about ten miles from home.

I drove out there on Friday to check out the neighborhood and the nicest thing I can say about it is it's seen better days. However, the magnet has a good reputation and a track record for college acceptances. Then again, it's going to take a lot longer than three years for California to fix its budget problems -- which means I expect more cuts and job losses at the school district.

Now, it's only October and NOBODY has applied to ANY high schools yet. I have told my daughter that she doesn't really know where her friends are going until they send off the magnet applications (in December) and find out if they are accepted (in the spring). In the meantime, school tours begin this month... and I've signed us up to visit both of the places we're considering.

I'm hoping to be charmed by what I see at the magnet. I'm crossing my fingers that my daughter will like what she sees at the charter. It would be nice if we could both be happy with the outcome, no matter how it turns out.

And in four years, when she starts applying to college, I'll try not to sweat it.

It could happen.

Original post for 50-Something Moms Blog and Los Angeles Moms Blog by Donna Schwartz Mills. Read more of Donna's posts at her personal site, SoCal Mom.