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May 26, 2010

What is heaven?

Kissing photo smaller The summer my son, Sims, was summiting Mt. Kenya, I had a profound dream. My friend, Rachel, had called that day to say another friend, our dear Thelma, had had several strokes. I must have gone to bed thinking about Thelma and about parenting a man-child who was hanging from mountains in Africa. The room in the dream appeared to be a doctor’s clinic. I knew, however, that it was Heaven. I, very much still alive, was demanding to know what Thelma would be doing in heaven when she got there. The white-coated “official” said, “Don’t you understand? Heaven is where we all do what we’re best at. Thelma, of course, will be teaching Sunday School.” My heart rested easy then about Thelma. After all, when she later died her actual obituary began, “Sunday School teacher for thirty-seven years.” The dream continued though.

The official in charge left the room. I eyed rows upon rows of file cabinets and wondered if my file would be in there even though I was still living. Wild to know what I would be doing in heaven, I sneaked over to the appropriate drawer and quickly found my full name on a file. I took a deep breath and opened it. There---alone in the file---was a single sheet of paper with one word on it---mother.

Wow, did I have a bit to chew on when I awakened the next morning. I would certainly not have put mothering at the top of the list of what I’m best at. I’m not even sure my sons would put maternal skills at the top of my best list. Although they did tell me as we sat at the Arby’s on Limestone in Lexington, KY (do I remember that day or what?) that even though the world would not know what a good mother I was because they were such challenging children, that they, indeed, knew. You don’t get many pay-days like that. I treasure that day and that dream. I still don't think mothering is what I am best at but I do know that mothering my two extraordinary sons required more of all my skill, energy, intellect and spirit that anything I have attempted in my life. And I would do it all over again tomorrow if given the opportunity.

Original post to 50-Something Moms Blog. 

On earth, you can find Brenda at her laptop writing for her blog.

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