50-something Moms Blog

A Day in the Life of Caring for Aging Parents

Four days ago, my 89-year-old FIL fell out of bed and hurt his neck and back. Today, my MIL asked me to help take him to the doctor. I couldn't imagine a worse way to spend a day, but naturally you have to say yes. Inheritances are at stake.

My husband is not an only child, but he is the youngest of four, and all his siblings have long ago left Memphis. That has left the responsibility of caring for his elderly parents solely on his shoulders. It's the one guilt I have about Elijah being an only child, that he alone will have to deal with the aging and passing of his parents. Hopefully, by then, he, too, will have a gracious and supportive wife to help him pick up the slack.

Babies and More Babies

I recently mentioned to my brother-in-law that I was going to see Babies (the movie). Tom's response was: "Don't you get enough of babies at work?"

Ah-no.

I see babies everyday at work as an RN in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). I suppose there are days when I get enough of babies--babies crying, babies with poop-ie diapers, babies wanting to eat when they should be sleeping and babies sleeping when they should be eating--12-hour days with babies can be enough.

Or not.

There are times when I would rather hold and rock a baby, or watch a newborn's facial expressions than take a coffee break. Like most women my age, and all of my co-workers, I like babies.

When I was a young, divorced Mom, working as a waitress and going to nursing school, I had had enough of babies. Life was not easy and having a baby did not make it easier. I decided I would not be having any more babies.

There were other reasons. I worried about my carbon footprint before it was called a carbon footprint. I was afraid my second marriage would fall apart like my first and I would again be a struggling, single Mom. I was happy with my one little boy, whom I had fought legal battles to keep. One baby was enough, thank you very much.

Physicians Also Need Reform

Like many, I have followed the on-going health care debates closely. I fall on the side of universal coverage for all. I cringe, every December, when my husband brings home the specifics of his company's health care coverage for the next year. Small families are discriminated against. As a family of three, we pay more for coverage than say a single parent with five children.

This year we had the option of paying the same amount for less coverage or maintaining 2009 coverage for a mere 30% increase. We opted for the same cost with less coverage and higher deductibles. We are praying no emergencies require us to meet that higher deductible.

Response to the H1N1 Vaccine and a Culture of Extremes

My family finally received our H1N1 vaccine last week. The county health department opened several storefronts through the area where the vaccine was available for free with no restrictions. No appointment necessary. We were in and out in 10 minutes.

The public reaction to the H1N1 vaccine, seems to me a microcosm of how we react to everything - in the extreme. When the H1N1 virus was in the daily news, the shown reaction was either (a) avoid the vaccine totally because it was unsafe or (b) stand in a line in the frigid weather for hours with small children in tow.

Thoughts on Health Care After the Swine Flu

I'm scratching my head over the state of health care, but I'm not talking about insurance exchanges, the Stupak Amendment or the "public option."  I'm wondering why we are in a country where you can't get a flu shot, some doctors are holding back Tamiflu and you're treated like a criminal for a box of decongestant tablets.

I had hoped against hope that the swine flu would bypass our house.  I was still on the fence about whether we would get the H1N1 vaccine, but we were diligent about hand washing and sanitizing. Our pediatrician's office had received only a small supply of the vaccine and it had gone to the high risk patients (Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore hardly received any of the vaccine, but I guess if I worked at Citigroup or Goldman Sachs, I could have scored at least one dose for our daughter).

My Experience with the French Health Care System

I've overheard many heated discussions and debates about health care recently.  I've heard many say, "Why is this happening all of a sudden?" and "President Obama is acting rashly, this is being pushed through too fast."   In our household the subject of health care has been front and center for a long, long time.  Health care and how to pay for it doesn't seem  "sudden" to me.

Every job/career decision my husband and I have made over the last twenty years has been predicated on whether health care would be included or not.  When I became an independent contractor and paid for all my own costs, we thought long and hard about my loss of health care coverage.  I was covered under my husband's policy but as you will soon see, there were issues. 

When I became pregnant with our first child, our coverage dictated that I leave the hospital within 24 hours of delivery.  Because it was over a busy Memorial Day week-end and because it was just 24 hours, I never had a lactation nurse or anyone for that matter, watch me nurse my new infant to make sure she was latched on and receiving adequate milk. 

Virtual Town Meeting: Mom Bloggers on Healthcare - Silicon Valley Moms Group Topic Days. August 18-19, 2009

These days, the topic on everyone's mind is healthcare.  You can't turn on the television, listen to the radio or pick up the newspaper without hearing of the latest "town hall" meeting or a new debate about healthcare reform in Washington, DC. Quite frankly, it is EXHAUSTING and CONFUSING!  On August 18-19, 2009, Silicon Valley Moms Group contributors will add our voices to the fray.  Through written and video blogging, we are sharing our stories and opinions on this important topic.  Please join Silicon Valley, Chicago, DC Metro, New York City, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Deep South, Rocky Mountain, Los Angeles, and 50-Something Mom Blogs as we host our own virtual town meeting on healthcare.  Let's hope they hear us on Capitol Hill.