50-something Moms Blog

A Day in the Life of Caring for Aging Parents

Four days ago, my 89-year-old FIL fell out of bed and hurt his neck and back. Today, my MIL asked me to help take him to the doctor. I couldn't imagine a worse way to spend a day, but naturally you have to say yes. Inheritances are at stake.

My husband is not an only child, but he is the youngest of four, and all his siblings have long ago left Memphis. That has left the responsibility of caring for his elderly parents solely on his shoulders. It's the one guilt I have about Elijah being an only child, that he alone will have to deal with the aging and passing of his parents. Hopefully, by then, he, too, will have a gracious and supportive wife to help him pick up the slack.

Is Teen Hookah-smoking Okay?

My son and I got into a text-argument last night. It started because I happened to see that one of his friends posted a photo of her new hookah on facebook with the status "Come smoke with me!" Later, I got a text from Elijah: "I'm at Ashley's*." So naturally I sent him back a text telling him that I don't know what the hell a 16-year-old girl needs with a hookah, but I did not want him smoking. I believe I might have mentioned locking him in his room and throwing away the key. At first he claimed that he wasn't smoking but soon the digital conversation degenerated into him telling me that it's not addictive and it's mostly water vapor and anyway if her mom is okay with it, why aren't I?

Facebook Slurs

There are a ton of issues parents have to worry about surrounding teens on Facebook — privacy issues, cyberbullying, drunken photos that mean he can kiss that senate career goodbye. Do you friend or don't you friend? If you friend them, you can keep an eye on them, but then they'll alter what they do or say, so you're not really getting any good information.

My teen Facebook philosophy is only to accept friend requests — never make them. That way, I'm not pushing myself on them. And I've got quite a few of Elijah's friends as FB friends. (Hint: it helps if you post lots of photos from their events, say...birthday parties, or rugby matches. Then they send you friend requests so they can tag themselves in your photos.) Once you get a handful of them as friends, you can pretty much keep up with the conversation without ever having to friend your own kid.

The question then becomes: What do you do when you see something disturbing?

Turn that DOWN!

Let's face it: Teens are no more rational than toddlers, really. They're both self-centered, determined and completely convinced that you're wrong. That's why, when it comes to parenting teens, you have to pick your battles, just like you did when they were terrible two-year-olds.

And look, I can let a lot of things slide. Messy room? Just don't get bugs. Use of the F-word? I wouldn't recommend you say it to your girlfriend's parents. Grunting conversation? I can play passive-aggressive silent treatment with the best of 'em. But the one battle I seem to constantly wage is the war against loud music in the car.

Sixteen

The other night I was watching television with my husband and that car commercial came on. You know the one — where the kid's toys grow life size and take the car out for a night on the town. And Chip, my husband, says to me, "Do you know what those are supposed to be?" And I'm all, "They're the kid's toys." And I'm hoping he's not wanting me to explain the spot to him, because frankly, I don't really get it. And he says, "But what are they?" And I say, "IDK...a sock monkey, and...a teddy bear? I guess? I don't know what the hell that other thing is supposed to be." Because whatever obnoxious children's television program they came from, I am blessedly unfamiliar with.